Can't help myself
by TazJay
Summary: Roy: I know we can’t be while we’re like this. I love him so much though and I need to tell him. I need to show him how much I care, show him that there is someone who will look after him and love him. Royed fluff. please RxR
1. I need him Roy

Can't help myself…

Why do I love him? He's just a kid. My subordinate. Whenever he smiles or looks at me, I go weak. The way he loses his temper when I call him shrimp, it makes me laugh. I know we can't be while we're like this. I love him so much though and I need to tell him. I need to show him how much I care, show him that there is someone who will look after him and love him. I'd take him to levels he's never seen. I just want him, need him so badly. I'm sure he feels the same way but he doesn't show it. That impish smile he wears when he knows he has me beat. Ever since I saw him the first time I felt myself grow weak, felt myself melt under his smile and his golden gaze. I know I shouldn't but I can't help myself…


	2. I want him to love me Ed

Why do I love that damn bastard? All he does is sit there with his lil white gloves and say crap about my height, he even once said I was too short to grope! WHO IS HE CALLING AN ULTRA HYPER MIDGET, GOD HE CAN EASILY GROPE MY ASS!! Well, that over, I know we cannot be together, I mean I'm sixteen, he's twenty nine and he's my commanding officer, this sucks, I really must tell him how I feel otherwise I'll never be able to relax or be happy. I have to admit that I love him, I need him, and I want him to tell me he loves me and that he'll never leave my side. His smile makes me melt, his onyx eyes when they glint mischievously as he makes some comment about my height. God I love him, I can't help myself…


	3. I can't pluck the courage Roy

How many times have I run it through my head? "Fullmetal I love you." No, that won't work. He'll just think I'm mad. He already calls me old. Always says I'm going grey. I AM NOT GOING FREAKING GREY!! At least I'm not short like him, but damn I have to admit his automail really drives me crazy, it gets to me. The feel of the cool metal against my skin, the touch of it that feels so natural. I want him so badly. I really wish he could be mine, I want to touch his blonde hair, caress his muscles. I really really can't help myself.


	4. Admittances Ed

Right, that's it I'm going to tell him right now. Those eyes staring back at me with furious curiosity as I take a breath and swallow the sick feeling that's growing in my stomach. I really can't wait any longer. 'Roy… there's been something I've been wanting to say for a while now…' damn, I stopped. He's looking back at me 'yes Fullmetal?' god he's so damn full of himself. I try again, 'what I mean to say is… is… I…' God, stop stalling. I blurt out 'ROYILOVEYOU!!' I let out a sigh of relief. I look up back into his dark eyes, those damn sexy eyes. He's just staring blankly at me. He sighs and takes a breath. 'Truth is Ed…' Yes? Come on, say it, I know he damn well wants to. 'I love you too…'


	5. As the door opens Roy

I guess that my fears were wrong. He does love me too. 'Truth is Ed…' why did I stop, he's looking like he's about to burst from frustration and suspense. 'I love you too…' I lean back in my chair and I sigh at finally getting it off my chest. God I really want to grab him and take him right now on the desk, I want to hear him say my name as I pump him into submission. I wish I could, but Riza will kill me if she knew. I stare into the pools of gold which are his eyes, glinting in the light of the office. I know I cant hold myself for much longer, I lean in and kiss him. Everything blurs in my head, until the door opens…


	6. Seeing red Riza

I can't believe my eyes, those two kissing! I feel an overwhelming urge to cry. No, I wont cry, I wont give them the satisfaction that they've hurt me. I whip my gun from my pocket, pointing it straight at Ed's head. Roy looks up at me, 'Lieutenant! What are you doing?!' everything's gone blank as I pull the trigger as Roy pulls Ed down with him. 'YOU DAMN BASTARD! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?!! YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL!!' I see red, he's hurt me, tore me in two. I notice a splatter of red on the floor as I realise I hit Ed, I sink to my knees, crying, hot tears, not for myself, but for Roy and Ed, the fact that they're love is stronger than me…


	7. Don't leave me, not now Roy

'ED!! NO!!' I sink to my knees, clutching at him, trying to stop him from bleeding. I can't believe she did it. She shot him. This is the first time I've ever cried since I shot the Rockbells in Ishbal. Tears are spilling down my cheeks as I try to keep him with me. 'Please Ed; don't leave me, not now… I need you…' I kneel over him, stemming the bleed as best as I can. No matter what I do, it just won't stop. Damn! I don't know what I'd do if Ed left me now, I couldn't stand it; it was bad enough when he disappeared, but now… it can't happen. Riza is crying as she sinks to her knees, dropping the gun with a crash on the floor. The door opens again and Fuery and Havoc walk in, with Black Hayate in tow…


	8. What the hell? Havoc

After the initial gunshot, we all panic; we don't know what the hell is going on, or who had fired the shot. As I dashed through the door, I saw Roy leaning over an unconscious Ed and Riza dropping the gun on the floor as she sinks to her knees. My reaction is one of shock. 'Havoc!' Roy cries, 'please, help me. Please…' I rush over, helping Roy as Fuery helps Riza back to her feet and sits her down. My hands are trembling as I lean forward, moving Roy's bloodied hands and ripping the sleeves off my shirt to try to help stem the bleed. 'Damn, why Riza!?' I shout as the Fuehrer dashes in and stops dead in his tracks. 'Colonel, what happened to Fullmetal?'


	9. What happened to Fullmetal? Bradley

'Scuse the late update, I've been really busy with college work so I haven't had time to update, so here is chapter nine of Ca

'**Scuse the late update, I've been really busy with college work so I haven't had time to update, so here is chapter nine of Can't help myself… Enjoy!**

I guess that Riza had shot the blonde alchemist, judging by the fact she is crying and pleading for Roy to not hate her. "Colonel, what happened to fullmetal?" I ask, slapping myself mentally for the obviousness of the answer. He stands up, looking at me tearstained and bloodied, "the first lieutenant shot him, she saw me and him kiss each other and she got angry, because she loves me and I belong to Edward, Sir, I love him, I can't help myself, I love Edward Elric…"


End file.
